Number 1

Well, here it goes... its official, I am a "blogger".

I did this for myself. Not so other people could read my thoughts an critique my inner self by sending judgmental opinions through a computer screen. I am doing this to get all my thoughts in order, my ducks in a row. I chose the name "aborigine" because I'm new to this. I know I'm not the first one... but then again what if I am. The first ever Super Young/New Wife/College Dropout/ Work All I Can - Not Because I Want to But Have to/Scared of What the Future Might Bring/So in love it Hurts/Wish I Could Really Help Someone in Need, girl. There may be someone out there that was the first aborigine to this land I have recently encountered, but so far I have found no sign of other living creatures in this very soil I stand, nay, swim in. I am not wallowing in my situation. On the contrary, I love my life. I love my wonderful husband who cares for me deeply, I love our outdated plumbing that makes the showers scorching hot if the toilet is flushed, I love our dinners that we make for each other... I chose this.

and I love this.

But this thing I love I also find that I am getting lost in it all. I'm lost in doing everything I can to find my identity. I'm no longer holding my father's name, I have a new identity to everyone around me. No more than two months ago I was allowed to spend the night at a girlfriends house. But now I am married. Socially, I am turning in my sleepovers for laundry and dishes. Not that my laundry and dishes are awful, they are accompanied by kisses and conversation with my favorite man in the world. Its just new. But new is not bad.